So, where were you when the world turned angry? I am hoping you can supply me with a date and time. I am hoping we can pinpoint a location, an event or a technology. Most of all, I am hoping you can tell me what has happened.
For I have never seen the world this upset or as sarcastic, biting and mean-spirited. Worst of all, I have never seen this world so unwilling to talk, reason or share. Post virtually anything on social media, even the most beautiful or cute or delicate thing and someone, somewhere, will rip it to shreds.
Have an opinion, any opinion, and some schmuck will come along and get in your face. No, I am not talking about an opinion on race relations, foreign substances on baseballs or why your kid should not be entitled to a gold-plate trophy for making it to band practice. I am talking about anything, even the most innocuous of things.
I Got (Mostly) Nothing
All I am asking is the most basic of questions: where were you when the world turned angry?
Did the world turn angry all at once or was it incremental? Did it come in on the wings of Fox and CNN, Twitter, Trump or Biden? Did the world turn angry with the computer, the internet or the cell phone?
Is the anger a function of a collective (not so benign) neglect, the minimum wage, pollution or television? Did Vietnam have something to do with it, or the Civil Rights Act, the hypocrisy of healthcare or the educational system?
What I Know
What I know is that I have seen anger virtually everywhere. I see it in my health club, with some of my clients, with family members, current and (ex) friends, former work associates, coffee shops, shopkeepers, and virtually every online setting.
I know that many of us spend our days negotiating anger as one would race a slalom race. We don’t wish to offend, we pull back our opinions, we skirt issues, we avoid any confrontation, we withdraw.
What I know is that avoidance is as unhealthy as the anger itself. Shut-down people are not silent, they are angry.
Life Doesn’t Owe Us a Thing
What I’ve got is this, and it’s a statement written about 53 years ago by Viktor Frankel, the psychiatrist, writer, speaker and Holocaust survivor in his seminal work: Man’s Search for Meaning. I’ll paraphrase, more or less:
“Life owes us nothing, it’s what we owe life.”
I believe much of our modern day anger stems from that. That’s it? Yes. Isn’t that enough?
All this anger, all of it originates from the realization that life doesn’t owe us a thing. It’s what we owe life for the privilege of being alive. A lot of us don’t think we owe life anything and that’s bullshit.
My bet is that issues such as racism, anti-Semitism (something that Frankl knew all too well), the lack of compassion and authenticity in society, bullying, gender inequality, the paucity of common courtesy, the loss of civility all stem from the realization that none of us is truly entitled to anything. The emphasis on entitled.
The range of entitlement can go from “I’m entitled to my 143-degree Grande Latte with sprinkles,” to “I’m entitled to live in this neighborhood, but you’re not.” It is a matter of “mine and thine.” Viktor Frankl saw in the camps that the rich and privileged died alongside the person who had been a beggar. Life didn’t care.
I think societal anger is the realization that we cannot escape our fate; the fate being that we can’t outrun one another. Like it or not, we’re in the mess together and we’d better pull back on our meanness or we’re all going to sink.
Where were you when the world turned angry? You were at that place where despite all of the promises you heard, that somewhere along the line, life snuck up and smacked you upside the head. It pissed you off because you had always felt you were unique. You aren’t. I sure as hell learned it, and maybe you should too.
Present day society doesn’t stop to be mindful but trust me, the laws of life apply to you as they do to your polar opposite.
Don’t impress me with your possessions or erudition for there will always be someone richer or smarter. Impress me with your compassion. Impress me with your authenticity and humanity. Impress me with your depth of soul.
As a wise woman once told me, “there are no guarantees.” She too, was a Holocaust survivor. I was too naïve, too angry and self-centered to realize it. I have grown old, and now I know it. No one cares about your anger — or mine. Show me the depths of your love.
Bruce Wolk, 303-725-5864
